


(Don't) Believe My Words

by FreyaS



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, First Meetings, Fluff, Getting Together, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-06 10:28:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19060801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreyaS/pseuds/FreyaS
Summary: Tony Stark grew up knowing he was a disappointment and a failure in the eyes of not only his father but his eventual soulmate. After all, the words "I wish I'd never met you" can only be a rejection, right?Bucky knew that he'd love the soulmate that would give him his beautiful soulwords but sometimes he feared they would never measure up to his celebrity crush, Tony Stark.





	(Don't) Believe My Words

**Author's Note:**

  * For [IronEyes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronEyes/gifts).



> Huge massive thanks to [Karma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunatical/pseuds/Lunatical) for her help with cheer reading and betaing. There are parts that she re-worded for me and she is the reason this fic makes any sense. Thank you love!!
> 
> This is for the WI Spring Fling.

He’d known from an early age that he would never quite measure up in his father’s eyes. It’d never really been a question. Tony Stark was a disappointment to his father: too soft, too needy, too prone to crying and running to his mother when his father raised his voice or hand against him.

The only hope Howard had for his sissy of a son was that Tony would have an amazing soulmark, to rival the words that had guaranteed Howard’s success.

“You see here, my boy, this is how I knew I was meant to succeed,” Howard would say as he bared his arm to Tony to show off his soulmark. Tony both loved and hated these moments. He loved them because it was one of the few times his father would be affectionate, almost loving, and hated them because he had to see those dreaded words and feel the weight of expectation settle across his shoulders like a yoke.

He already knew he had disappointed his father, and no matter how many circuit boards he built or rudimentary robots he coaxed into life, he would never be seen as _enough_.

‘So this is the great Howard Stark’ was written in his mother’s delicate cursive across Howard’s arm. Tony hated that mark, even though he loved his mother. Every time he saw those words and heard his father boast, he was reminded of Howard’s words on his mother’s skin. A dismissive ‘And who are you?’, a complete contrast to the words Maria had gifted Howard.

Maybe it was prophecy, or maybe Maria had always known she would be secondary to her husband’s ego, but for ten long years she stayed in the shadows of her showstopper husband. She never asked for anything, moved when the whim struck him, was the picture perfect demure housewife the world expected, and her only confidant was the family butler, Jarvis. Maria’s reward for following the expectations of Howard, her parents, and society, was Anthony Edward Stark, her one and only child.

Tony grew up knowing that his mother loved him and that his father expected things from him. He learned early on that if he needed something, he should run to his mother and never seek out his father. One of his earliest memories was the shattering sound of glass, as Howard threw his tumbler of scotch across the room when Tony had asked if he could play with daddy in his lab. It was Jarvis who carefully monitored him as he tried to build his first circuit board and it was Jarvis who quietly stepped aside when his father finally noticed and called the press to preen over the genius offspring _he’d_ created.

“I wonder what your words will be? No doubt, they’ll be as noteworthy as mine. Maybe a ‘You’re just as great as Howard Stark’ or ‘You take after your father’... what do you think, champ?” Howard always asked him.

“I don’t know,” he wanted to say. “Maybe I want my own words. Maybe I want something so mundane no one will know I’m their soulmate. Maybe I’ll finally grow out of your shadow.”

But of course, he bit his tongue and tried to keep the peace.

It wasn’t a surprise when, at the tender age of ten, Tony disappointed his father a final time when his soulmark finally appeared. Splashed across his collarbone is blocky letters were the words, “I wish I’d never met you”.

Howard was furious, disowning Tony in all but name. He was sent away to a boarding school with instructions to never show his mark to anyone. As far as Howard was concerned, Tony was one of the few unfortunate souls who never manifested a mark.

His mother and Jarvis assured him that his soulmate wouldn’t reject him without knowing him, that the mark would make sense when they met, but for Tony, the words confirmed everything he had ever believed about himself.

His father hadn’t wanted him and his soulmate wouldn’t either. There was something broken inside him, he wasn’t meant to be love.

No matter what his mother or Jarvis said, he would never measure up to his father, and even his soulmate would realize that.

-

“You can’t skip this fundraiser,” Pepper hissed through the phone as Tony accepted another scotch on the rocks from the bartender.

“Shh, please, you’re killing my buzz,” Tony complained as he carefully checked that his soulmark was still covered.

It had been twenty years since the mark had manifested and Tony liked to pretend it didn’t exist. The shame he’d first felt had turned into bitterness that had evolved into anger and resentment. He might not be Howard Stark, but he was a genius in his own right. If his soulmate didn’t want him, then Tony didn’t want them either.

“Seriously Tony, this is for veterans and a lot of them are beneficiaries of the prosthetics program that The Maria Stark Foundation sponsors. If you don’t show up, it’s going to look terrible,” Pepper persisted.

Tony groaned. “I know, I’m not going to miss it, I’m just getting a drink. Happy’ll make sure I’m there on time. You know, I really don’t get it. It’s been five years since I shut down the weapons manufacturing division of Stark Industries. Five years since I found out what Obie was up to and turned him in. Five years of doing everything I can to atone... and I’m still Tony Stark, the ‘war profiteer’”.

Pepper made a sympathetic noise over the phone. “I know, you know I know. I wouldn’t still be around if you weren’t a good guy, but SI has a lot to make up for and you’re the face of it. You have to show you care.”

Tony tossed the rest of his drink back and sighed. “I know, Pep. You’re right. I’m happy that I have the money to help people that I’ve hurt. But sometimes I get so _tired_. Everyone at these things either hate me or want something from me. I can’t blame the people who hate me and I can’t avoid the people who want my money.”

“Well, last time, someone threw a drink at your face, so anything has to be better than that,” Pepper said optimistically.

“Cheers to that,” Tony said as he left the bar.

-

“I fucking hate this, Steve,” Bucky complained as he scowled into the mirror and tried to adjust his tie.

“You promised Sam you’d go and you promised _me_ you’d bring me as your plus one. There’s no way I’m missing out on all the free food. Plus, maybe you can talk to your crush, Tony Stark,” Steve teased. He was watching Bucky struggle from the bathroom door with open amusement.

He already had his suit on, the bastard.

“I don’t have a crush on him!” Bucky protested as he gave up on the tie and turned his attention to his hair instead. “I just like what he’s done with his company, is all.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Please spare me another ‘Tony Stark is the best thing since sliced bread’ speech. I don’t get how you can like him considering…” Steve trailed off, but his eyes were on Bucky’s prosthetic hand as he ran it through his hair.

“It wasn’t him. The guy responsible is rotting in prison like he deserves and Tony Stark gave me this arm,” Bucky said, wiggling his fingers. “Plus, I doubt he’ll talk to me! He’ll probably have better people to meet.”

“Uh huh, I’m sure. Your soulmate is gonna be jealous when they realize you’re totally gone on a celebrity,” Steve said.

Bucky turned around to glare at Steve directly. “My soulmate will have nothing to worry about because it’s not a crush. I just admire him and I think he’s been doing good work, but not even Tony Stark can hold a candle to my soulmate. Whoever they are, they’re gonna be perfect.”

Steve laughed. “Or a complete player. Who says ‘Your eyes are my favorite shade of blue’ to a stranger? It’s either a cheesy joke or a terrible pick-up line.”

“Well, if it _is a pick-up line_ , it’s gonna work,” Bucky said with a wink.

“Well, maybe you’ll have an amazingly lucky night and meet both Tony Stark _and_ your soulmate,” Steve said.

Bucky shook his head. “No thanks, I’d rather just read about him in magazines. I’d make a complete fool of myself if I actually met him in real life. But the soulmate part… yeah, that would be nice.”

“Sam’s picking us up at 8, so if you’re done preening you should put on your shoes, Mr. Romantic.”

Bucky took one last look at himself and shrugged. He wasn’t expecting much from the evening, but free food and good drinks could never be the start of a bad night.

-

“Pepper, Pepper! Who’s that guy over there?” Tony whispered urgently, trying to inconspicuously check out the hot and brooding brunette half a room away from him.

“Who? The blond? I don’t know, one of the veterans probably. You should introduce yourself,” Pepper said as she squinted in the direction Tony was looking.

“No, not the blond! I’m talking about the angel with the long brown hair!” Tony said. He glanced again at the man and was startled to see that he was looking back. Tony tried to smile at him but the man looked away again.

“Okay, well, if you like him, you should go talk to him like a normal human being instead of creepily staring at him,” Pepper said. “Who knows, he might be your soulmate.”

Tony flinched and brought a hand to his chest. He hoped the handsome man wasn’t the mysterious person who would one day reject him. He prayed to never meet that person. The brunette on the other hand… well, he wouldn’t mind getting to know _him._

 _Plus if he’s here, he must not totally hate me,_ Tony reasoned. It seemed like a safe bet. He took another fortifying sip of his drink and then placed it on a nearby table and started making his way over to the other man.

As he got closer, he could see the blond pulling on the other guy’s arm, clearly trying to tell him that Tony was approaching. He had a moment of panic as he realized that they could be a couple, but by then it was too late to change his trajectory. The man finally looked up and Tony’s breath caught as he met the man’s eyes. They were the most gorgeous color he’d ever seen. A blue-grey that reminded him of steel and beautiful machinery.

“Your eyes are my favorite shade of blue,” Tony blurted out like a complete idiot when he reached the man

The man’s eyes widened and then he was almost shouting, “I wish I’d never met you!”

Tony felt the blood drain from his face.

-

“Don’t look now, but your idol has been staring at you for like twenty minutes,” Steve whispered to Bucky. Predictably, Bucky looked, just in time to catch Tony Stark blush and look away.

“I’m sure he’s just… looking in our direction. For some reason,” Bucky said, not at all convinced that Tony Stark of all people would be looking at _him_. He looked behind him to see if they were blocking Tony’s view of someone else but there was no one obviously behind them.

“Now he’s walking this way, Buck. He’s headed straight for us. Better have a good one liner ready,” Steve said. Bucky looked back at Tony and realized that Steve was right. Tony Stark was headed towards him and he wasn’t ready at all. What could a man like that want with someone like Bucky? His brain went into overdrive, imagining every terrible scenario. Maybe it was obvious he was wearing a second hand tux, maybe he should have pulled his hair back instead of letting it hang around his face, maybe he was eating or drinking too much. A million possibilities ran through his head and he tensed up for the confrontation. At least he’d be able to meet Tony before he was summarily tossed out on his ass.

“Your eyes are my favorite shade of blue,” Tony Stark said when he reached Bucky.

Bucky’s entire world froze as he looked down at Tony, realizing that the man had just said his soulwords, the very thing he’d been dreaming of for ages. Bucky felt his world crumbling down, right in front of his eyes, as he realized what the words meant. Tony Stark was his soulmate. Tony Stark, who was powerful, handsome, and who could have anyone he wanted, was stuck with Bucky with his PTSD and missing arm. This wasn't what was supposed to happen. Bucky was meant to find a soulmate on his level, who could be his equal, not someone so far out of his league it was honestly laughable. And Tony deserved better than a broken, half of a man for a soulmate.

Bucky shouldn't have been here, he should have stayed home, that way, he wouldn't have ruined Tony's life, and he wouldn't feel so bad about himself. He wished he could make Tony take back his words, he wished...

"I wish I'd never met you!”

As soon as the words were said, Bucky pressed his hand to his mouth, horrified. He knew instantly that he’d fucked up beyond repair. When he saw how Tony’s expression fell, and how his face became ghostly white, he immediately knew that he’d messed up any chance he ever had with his soulmate.

 _Stupid! Careless! How could you?_ he asked himself.

“Wait, please,” he tried to say, stumbling forward as Tony turned away.

He wasn’t ready for the coldness on the other man’s face.

“Do you need anything? I figured you’d want me out of your life as soon as possible. Yes, you _did_ get Tony Stark as your soulmate. I’m very sorry for the monumental disappointment. If you talk to my assistant, she’ll arrange for a meeting with my lawyers and you’ll be paid handsomely not to go to the press,” Tony said matter of factly.

Bucky felt his heart break, and for a second he was tempted to walk away. Tony Stark deserved so much better than him, and definitely better than the terrible words that Bucky had inadvertently damned him to, but he wanted to make sure Tony knew that Bucky was the deficient one, that Bucky didn’t deserve _Tony_ , not the other way around.

“I didn’t mean it. Tony, please know I didn’t,” Bucky said, reaching out to grab Tony’s arm.

“You don’t have to pretend,” Tony said bitterly as he tried to shake off Bucky’s hand.

“Please let me explain,” Bucky pleaded.

Tony smiled, but it was a brittle thing, all teeth and no humor. “No need to explain, I know I’m no one’s ideal soulmate. I knew from the start that my soulmate would hate me. Don’t feel obligated to like me.”

He turned to walk away again, but Bucky grabbed his wrist to stop him. Tony eyed the grip. “If you don’t let me leave, security will be on you in a heartbeat.”

Bucky quickly let go and then tried to school his face into the most earnest expression possible. “Please listen to me. I am… I am so thrilled that you are my soulmate. I’m sorry you have those horrible words on you, but please know, even before knowing we were soulmates, you were my dream guy. Ask any of my friends.”

Tony looked hesitant, his brows drawn together in confusion. “You really expect me to believe that?” he asked.

As Bucky was floundering for a response, Steve chimed in. “Listen bud, Bucky is an idiot, make no mistake, but you’ve been his celebrity crush for years, so it’s really a blessing that you’re his soulmate. I won't deny that Bucky fucked up just now, but it wouldn't be fair to deny him the chance to get to know you over a misunderstanding. Please give him a chance and maybe get to know each other.”

Tony hesitated, but his stance was opening up and his steely eyes seemed to soften as they looked at Bucky.

“Please, let me take you out. Let’s ditch this joint and I’ll get you the best cheeseburgers on this side of town,” Bucky said.

“I really shouldn’t leave..” Tony hedged, but he didn’t seem as opposed to the idea as he had been just a few seconds prior.

“Yes you should, in fact, I insist. I’ll take care of the rest of the gala and make excuses for you,” a pretty red headed woman said as she came up to Tony. She turned to Steve and smiled. “And you, handsome, can keep me company.”

With that, Steve and the redhead disappeared into the crowd, leaving Bucky and Tony alone.

“Well, we might as well?” Bucky said, offering his arm. He didn’t feel an ounce of the confidence he was trying to exude, but he hoped Tony would at least humor him.

Tony looked at his arm with clear suspicion in his eyes, but he finally took it, letting Bucky lead them out of the party.

“I’ll get my driver to drop us off at this burger joint you mentioned. It better be as good as you say,” Tony muttered as he pulled out his phone. A few minutes later, a sleek black car pulled up to the curb.

Bucky rattled off the address as he clamored into the back seat with Tony. The driver looked about as unimpressed with Bucky as Tony had been, and Bucky almost cracked a joke about how similar they were.

“Happy, no comments, just drive,” Tony said, as if anticipating the whatever rant the driver seemed to be desperate to unload. His mouth was scrunched up, like he was actually holding back a tirade and he kept glancing at Bucky with a sour expression on his face.

Barely ten minutes later, they were at the restaurant, and Bucky scrambled to open the door for Tony. He took the opposite door and Bucky tried not to cringe. How had he met the man of his dreams and messed it up so badly?

“Happy, circle the block, I’m sure we won’t be long,” Tony said. Bucky winced again, knowing that the words were for him.

“Uh, this is my favorite booth,” he said as he gestured at an isolated table in the back. The diner was nearly dead, about an hour from closing, but the few patrons who were there looked at them curiously as they walked in with their tuxedos.

They ordered quickly and Bucky tried not to marvel at the amount of food Tony asked for.

“Okay, pretty boy, why should I believe you actually like me? I grew up with these words, knowing that they meant, and now I’m supposed to believe they mean something positive?” Tony asked bluntly as he sipped on his chocolate milkshake.

Bucky lifted one shoulder in a shrug and took a sip of his own milkshake. “I admit, they’re horrible words... and I’m so _so_ sorry that you grew up with them, but honestly, you are someone I have admired for years. I never expected to meet you and I was feeling inadequate and you seemed interested in me… I panicked.”

“So, the first thing you say is ‘I wish I’d never met you’?” Tony asked, and there was a bitter, cold edge to his voice. Bucky knew his next words would be the most important things he ever said, so he took a deep breath and carefully contemplated his response.

“You have no idea how much I love the words you said to me. They helped me through some difficult times, but I never expected them from _you_. As much as I wanted to meet my soulmate, the person I have admired for years is you. I lost my arm when I was deployed abroad and when I came back, there was a whole program, free of charge, for prosthetics and they were light-years ahead of anything else on the market. And you shut down the weapons manufacturing division of your company when it was clear it was corrupt.”

Bucky took a breath and fiddled with his hand, bringing attention to his metal fingers. “You’ve done so much and I have admired you for so long, and I never felt like I’d be worthy of meeting you. And then you said my words and I realized you’d be stuck with me for life. I’m not special, I'm really nothing; I’m basically a fanboy with a gimp arm and nothing going for me except the eyes my soulmate likes. I don’t deserve you and I’m sorry my first words were so awful, but I really wish I’d never met you, so you could have found someone better than me.”

Bucky finally glanced up at Tony and wasn’t sure of what to make of his expression. He looked surprised, but his eyes betrayed something that was completely unreadable for Bucky.

“You- you said those words because you didn’t think you were worthy of me?” Tony asked.

Bucky bit his lip and nodded.

“That’s... terrible. I’m so sorry, but you could have said anything else… all that time I thought…” Tony cut off as he pressed a hand to his lips.“You really like me?” he asked, his voice tentative.

Bucky nodded. “Yes, please believe me, I do. I love your words and if I could do it again, my first words would have been, ‘how did I get so lucky?’”

They were interrupted by the arrival of their food but they hardly paid attention to the server. Tony’s eyes were trained on Bucky and he didn’t want to look away. They both took some perfunctory bites of their food but it was obvious they were distracted.

After a few moments of awkward chewing, Tony looked directly at Bucky and offered him a tentative smile. “I hate to admit this, but I was always sure you’d hate me, because my father did. I know, I know, it’s cliché, a man like me with daddy issues, but having these words meant that I was an eternal disappointment to Howard- my father.”

“Maybe it was a blessing, because he wasn’t that great of a parent before the words came in; he completely ignored me and let me do my own thing after they appeared. But, I always foolishly wanted to make him proud,” Tony admitted.

He picked at his burger, taking a nibble and Bucky took the cue to chime in. “He sounds like a rotten guy. No one deserves to feel like they aren’t enough and I’m sorry that I’ve made you feel like he did.”

“Well, my mother, who was an angel, always told me that my soulmate wouldn’t reject me and there would be an explanation for the words. I never expected it to be that you didn’t think you deserve me,” Tony said.

Tony finally dropped his cheeseburger and leaned forward. “So, if you like me and there’s a strong chance I might like you too...May I have a kiss?”

Bucky swallowed hard and took a nervous sip of water before nodding. “Anything you like.”

They leaned forward, over their burgers and milkshakes and shared the most chaste kiss Bucky had ever had. They barely brushed lips but the first touch sent a bolt of electric desire through his body. Before Tony could move back, Bucky leaned forward and gripped Tony by his suit jacket and pressed their lips together more firmly.

Tony seemed hesitant at first but he slowly opened his mouth for Bucky’s insistent tongue. Bucky kissed Tony slowly and deeply, coaxing the other man’s tongue into his own mouth and lazily exploring his mouth, until they were both gasping for breath. Only then did he pull back.

“I guess, maybe, you might like me,” Tony said weakly as he licked his red lips. Bucky dove in for another kiss.

They took the rest of their food to go and Bucky found himself with a lapful of Tony Stark on their way back to Tony’s tower. He wasn’t above sending a text to Steve letting him know that all his dreams had come true.

-

The morning after he met his soulmate, Tony Stark woke up within the confines of a warm embrace. He was shirtless and his soulmark was exposed, but for once he didn’t mind. He felt a warm breath huff against his neck and turned to look at Bucky, the soulmate he had never expected.

“Good morning, love,” Bucky said in a raspy voice. He kissed the soulmark that Tony had hated for years, but instead of dread, Tony only felt happiness.

 _Take that Howard_ , Tony thought as he leaned down and kissed his soulmate.


End file.
